Curing vanity one rejection at a time.

Wading Through the Bureaucracy BS...The Death of This Country

2010-12-28T17:49:00.000-08:00

The inefficiency of getting through the blue tape when attempting to obtain information from the government or large corporations is killing us. Think about how much time is wasted, how much electricty is used, how much money is spent while being stuck on hold for 10, 20, 60 minutes at a time, only to be transferred to a secondary, tertiary, etc. person and wait yet again! And then be directed back to where you started and were transferred from in the beginning, to suddenly discover they've gone home and left you to try again tomorrow. I am truly amazed that we as a country, are able to function at all.

How have we not ground to a halt already? This insanity needs to be stopped or we shall, I'm afraid, cease to progress and never reach our potential...

Ah let it ring... An appeal to Pastor Jones

2010-09-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

We live in America; a gorgeous country that affords indulgence in life, love, the pursuit of happiness and of course, freedom - freedom to think, to write, to say, to do, to believe anything we choose. I personally believe that freedom is a human right, not a privilege. There is a rudimentary albeit critical element to freedom that I will describe with an old, apt cliché...

Freedom is power, and with that power comes great responsibility. After 234 years, I suppose it's reasonable that the majority take our freedoms for granted. After all, we've come a long way from war-torn, Revolutionary America. The problem with taking our freedoms for granted is that we put ourselves at great risk. Case in point - Pastor Terry Jones, the Pentecostal religious "leader" in Florida who announced he would burn the Quran.

As I believe in our freedom of speech and religion, I practice tolerance regardless of agreeing with other ideas or not. If Pastor Jones burned the Quran, I'd have to say that it is his choice, his freedom of speech, his right. Yes he has the right, but should he? Absolutely not! This country was founded by we the people, for the people, something Pastor Jones seems to have forgotten and this is where the danger lies. You see, freedom is about people. Everything we have comes from the strife, pain and trials of all of the people who fought, died and came before us. Our decisions, how we choose to exercise our freedoms, affects others whether we realize it or not. Because of this, we - the individual - need to account for how our choices may influence other people. It is our moral obligation.

Pastor Jones is abusing his freedom, his power, his responsibility as a human, an American and a religious leader. He is not taking his position in the church, state, nation and world seriously. If he were, he'd realize what a grave error he is making. One person can make a difference, whether for good or bad. If Jones were to publicly burn the Quran, that single gesture would fuel the fire of anti-American sentiment of those who seek to do harm against us. They will use this as petrol on the fire to recruit others and induce violence. Pastor Jones will be putting potentially thousands of lives in jeopardy, all to practice his individual freedom.

I implore him to reconsider and follow his moral onus to other people's welfare and safety; put away this idea of publicly burning the Quran entirely and forever. And I urge you to please not take our freedoms for granted. Think before you leap.

Mmmm, Art!

2010-08-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

Here's one from my latest shoot. Just felt like sharin'. I hope you enjoy.

"When All Turns to Nothingness, Compendium Fades."

My favorite sushi in all of Los Angeles!!!

2010-08-26T02:54:00.000-07:00

Not only beautiful but delicious as well. I went to Ichiriki and the owner, Peter, presented this to me for my birthday. Come on, ya know you want some!

Spaceman Stu for Stu

2010-08-26T02:41:00.000-07:00

I recommend listening through quality headphones or really good speakers...

For My Friend Stu...

2010-08-23T01:50:00.000-07:00

Turn up your volume first.

I Ate Neil Young's Cookie...

2010-08-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

And it kicked my ass!

"Better Than Prince" by Flairs

2010-08-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

Digital Breakdown

2010-08-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

This is a clever and funny bit. After 4 previous videos, she added some production value and it's terrific! Enjoy...

"1973" by Tahiti Boy and the Palm Tree Family

2010-08-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy the music while you are on hold...

I can hear you now...

2010-07-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

Verizon pun intended and aside, this is an update on the iPhone 4 dropped call dilemma. As I mentioned I would, I purchased a smooth, rubber case for my iPhone. I do not know the manufacturer as there is no print or hallmark on the case, nor was there any packaging. I purchased it from a nice Russian fellow at a kiosk in the Manhattan Village Mall. While I prefer understated and low key (read as black), blue was the only color they had that I could live with.

"Well, how has it affected the phone?", you ask. Beneficially, I say. While Apple has admittedly stated their formula for discerning signal strength is faulty, I have noticed that my dropped calls have waned significantly. First and foremost, I am thankful that this little adjustment has greatly improved and enhanced my phone experience. That said, I still believe the antenna setup to be a poor design choice. Again, that the phone would be designed in such a way that the simple act of holding it in it's raw, intended form impedes proper functionality, is a major disappointment. This is Apple, after all. They have continually provided cutting edge technology in a splendiforously sleek package, however, they have finally dropped the ball on this one.

The look of the pone is nice, trim, clean, sexy. How it feels in the hand though, that is the clincher. It is unfortunate that one is remanded to forgo the tactile experience in lieu of proper performance. This aside, I love the device. I'm certain Mr. J will figure it out in the next go around.

Please do not let this deter you from getting a new iPhone! Merely purchase a case synchronously with the phone and enjoy! For anyone who may like this particular case, I found its likeness online, here, although I cannot attest to it being the same texture.

I can hear you, can you hear me???

2010-07-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

When I was over my buddy's house the other day, he told me the story of Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, fielding emails from dissatisfied owners of the new iPhone 4. I've been having my own cell reception issues and decided to look into the problem. For those of you who aren't hip, Apple released it's long anticipated iPhone 4 last week. I was one of the many eager Apple users who received their phone right away. Unbeknownst to many, there seemed to be some users who were getting poor reception from the new, integrated antenna-designed devices. In fact, several disappointed and frustrated customers barraged Apple with emails and posted internet videos about it. Mr. Jobs replied to one such person by saying , "Don't hold it that way." Now, some of the videos show a complete cupping of the iPhone and of course if you cup it, or many other cell phones with your entire hand, it will likely reduce reception. And of course, most people don't/won't actually handle a phone like that. Many of the videos, however, show the phone being held in what I think is a reasonable manner such as this one.

I think it is very cool that a CEO of an enormous company would take the time to personally answer emails, however, Mr. Jobs' response to this issue was bogus. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Apple devotee and proponent! I love the device, but it's cell reception is significantly worse than my 3G, no matter how I hold it or don't hold it. I think Jobs was and is being arrogant about the situation. This is a clear and prevalent issue that appears to be growing. There is now a class action suit against Apple & ATT for negligence, fraud, design flaws and more. It appears as though Apple knew about this issue and proceeded anyway. They are suggesting that everyone who just paid 2-600$ + for the phone, pay an additional 32$ for the bumper and the problem (self-admitted problem they are denying - see the conundrum?) will magically be fixed.

While I disagree with potentially bored and disgruntled, disillusioned masses striking up litigation for lack of individuality or anything else to do, I do believe that Apple should acknowledge rather than disavow, and make a concerted effort to rectify the problem and satisfy their clientele. After all, it is these people that continue to put money in the gigantic Apple piggy bank. Now, there are those who suggest we all return our phones and demand a refund, and that this action will provide a wake up call to Cupertino. The only problem with that is... it's such a great device, we're reluctant to give it up despite the defect with its phone. My 3G dropped calls with a frequency of about 3-4 per week, regardless of position. This one is dropping calls up to 6 per minute. It's insanely frustrating!!!! And I'm so torn, as I love the device, but I've been seriously considering reverting to 3G or 3Gs.

The aesthetic and physical design of the iPhone 4 is lovely! It is such a pleasure to hold and simply feels right in the hand, not to mention the nifty new features and the eye-gasmic screen resolution. Sadly, it is the hand that has become the enemy. I will, for sake of trying the temperate and easy solution, purchase a case for the phone merely because of added protection, but with the hopes of improving reception. Heck knows I've dropped my 3G enough times and would have been SOL if it weren't for my Agent 18 case! It is difficult to not ponder on Apple's release of a rubber "bumper" for the 4G, however. Apple didn't release similar or other protective accessories concurrently with previous device launches. And the fact that it only covers the metal band, easily lends to the notion that the bumpers are intended as a rectifier for the issue that was known by Apple preceding the launch.

When it comes down to it, this is a phone. What does one do with a phone but hold it?. This has been how people have used telephones since their inception over 130 years ago. That Apple would design and produce a phone whose reception is affected by how one holds it, is an inherent flaw. This cannot be repudiated by any casually tossed remark, internet instruction or complex legal mumbo jumbo. Up until now, I'd have said that the only problem with the iPhone is AT&T. Sadly, that is no longer the case. (Pun intended)

Until an anti gravity field is invented, capable of floating the iPhone to my ear, I will gladly accept suggestions...

Ah, genius! Thanks!!

On a side note, there is a blog I have stumbled across entitled The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. A recent post, There Is No Spoon, I found to be well written, smart and entertaining. I hope you enjoy.

A Legend Lost...

2010-05-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

I am saddened by Mr. Hopper's passing. His filming styles changed Hollywood and I am honored to have met him. Filmmaker, artist, brilliant mind. You are a talent and will be missed. Keep your motor runnin', Dennis...

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished... er wait, What?

2010-03-31T22:15:00.001-07:00

So I'm tooling down 190th on my way home. As I pass by How's, I see a car stranded in the middle of the street with its flashers on and no lights. I pull up next to the cockpit and ask the girl if she wants help, she agrees.

In a change of tense, I pulled my bike into the parking lot and ran back out into the street. By this time a small line of cars had formed behind the jalopy, all wanting to turn into the lot. I quickly pushed her car across one lane, to safety along the curb of the lot entry. As the car came to rest, I walked up next to her window, leaned down and asked if all was alright. She conferred and thanked me for helping. I took one small step backward, turned around and had my knee, shin and both feet greeted by a Lexus sedan's door panels and it's 2 right sided tires. Yes, that's right folks, I was run over. I couldn't believe it either. In fact, I leaned over with my hands on both knees to check myself with the exact same question, "Did that really just happen?!"

The car stopped. I mean, who wouldn't stop when your car is in a parking lot and you run over something...or someone, right? In a loud voice, but not yelling, I asked, "Seriously? I'm helping this girl out and you ran me over?!" The driver powered down the passenger window and began giving me grief because I took a step backwards. Yes, ladies and germs, the driver blamed me. Apparently if a soul is helping another, and there is an unsafe situation in a lane of traffic, the impatient driver has the right to illegally cross a double yellow line, run over a pedestrian and belay fault of any kind. Wow. And without another word, the Lexus drove off down the lot. The girl asked if I was ok. I was, just slightly disheveled.

I mounted my bike, headed down to the end of the lot and stopped behind the Lexus. An entire family of 5 exited the vehicle. I began talking to the driver, asking him if he realized what it means to run someone over. He continued to tell me he went around me and I backed up, and he was talking over me - a real no no for those of you who know me. I raised a finger and loudly proclaimed, "If both people are talking at the same time, no one is heard." He shut up. I told him that it doesn't matter that he thinks he is right. I stopped to help someone in a dangerous situation. He needs to heed the situation, stop and wait until it is safe. He was impatient, he crossed a double yellow line and broke the law, then ran me over. Again I exclaimed, "You ran me over!" I told him he is lucky nothing seems to be broken and that he needs to slow down, be patient, and obey the law, period. He said thank you and walked away. Yes l's and g's, that's right, he never even apologized or asked if I was alright. Weeee.

I took a snapshot of his license plate and swung by the girl's car. Her friends had shown up to keep her company in wait for a tow. I asked if she would mind providing her name and phone. She kindly and swiftly offered it and she and her friends eagerly volunteered to testify in court if need be. As any of my poor subscribers who torture themselves with my scrawl already know, I am not litigious. In the event that in a few days I am burdened with unignorable pain and get checked only to find something is broken, I want to have a safety net.

Anywho, that's it. Is there a lesson to be learned here? Umm... always, no wait, never... stick a piano up your nose!

Good night, and good luck.

Ode to Diazepam

2010-03-02T21:06:00.000-08:00

The rush of tranquility, the hints of euphoria.

How I welcome the smiles that tiptoe along the corner of my lips, oh so subtly.

Limbs bearing invisible weight, slowing down every action, resolve impenetrable. Ahhhh

Del Amo Motorsports

2010-02-14T13:34:00.002-08:00

For all you riders out there who have your bikes serviced at Del Amo Motorsports in Redondo Beach, read carefully and pay heed.

My bike was badly in need of tires. Del Amo simply has the best tire prices, period. They even match or beat internet prices, so they have become the go to place. They offer a discount on mounting when you purchase tires through them. It's 45$, ride in, ride out. Now, I've always mounted my own tires with my friends but I thought this was a really great deal. The Saturday before last, I rode up to the service bay. I spoke with John, a really nice fellow, and he informed me that he will likely get it finished, however, it may not be until close to 6pm. It was now 2. I told him that I would appreciate anything he could do and walked into the store.

I kicked around for almost 3.5 hours. They called my name over the PA and I walked back to the service bay, where my baby awaited me with new, beauteous Dunlop rubber. I rode home, showered, and headed out to meet my friends for a birthday gathering.

It was now dark and I was traveling up the 405 towards Culver City. I signaled and moved from the carpool lane, across each lane to my exit. This particular exit has a very sharp, 90˚+ turn that culminates at a traffic light. Before I entered the curve, I broke to slow myself from highway speed; approximately 70mph. As I squeezed the front brake lever, it collapsed to the handlebar, void of any resistance and, oh by the way, any braking! I feverishly squeezed the lever over and again to no avail. I immediately began stomping the rear brake pedal, again, nothing! Before my mouth could utter the 4 letter word my brain had conjured the nanosecond previous, my left hand engaged the clutch and I downshifted the bike into 5th, 4th, 3rd. She lurched forward as I hit the curve, I threw her down into the turn and as I exited, slammed her down into 2nd then 1st gear. I managed to stop the bike with sliding feet before blowing the red light into oncoming traffic. PHEW!

While I awaited the green light, I could not, for the life of me, figure out why or how the brakes would suddenly lose pressure! When I initially got on the bike at the dealer, I noticed that they had not fully pressurized the brakes. I thought, "lazy follow through on their part," but simply pumped the lever until all was solid and it rode fine. Now that I had brake pressure, I decided to proceed cautiously and see what happened. As I progressed down Washington Bvd, I suddenly heard a KLANK, KLANK, KLANK-ing. What the hell was that? It stopped. I continued and then heard the noise again. I immediately pulled over onto the sidewalk. As I de-saddled from my horse in shining scarlet, I suddenly noticed that the entire front, left brake caliper was hanging by the hose. I was furious! I was stupefied, astounded and completely in disbelief! That a mechanic could be so thoughtless, so irresponsible, so utterly incompetent to not have replaced or tightened the bolts on a brake caliper, is completely unacceptable! Needless to say, I called up Del Amo then and there and left my piece of mind on their voice mail, and demanded they call me in the morning.

Did they call? Of course not. I had to have the bike towed home and then to the dealer in the morning. If the caliper had somehow managed to wedge in the wheel while on the freeway, or if I had not maintained and gotten myself out of the exit, or there were a car in front of me or blew through the light...man! I am thankful that I am alive, that I had the skills I needed despite not being conscious of them, and that I am sharing this with you now. Yes, I am thankful...and they, are lucky! I know that I have grounds for a gross negligence case, however, I am not a litigious person. I have met with the service director, the tech foreman and the mechanic. While I do not wish ill of anyone, this is without doubt, a terminating offense. The mechanic, still works there. For anyone who has their bike serviced at Del Amo, request Mauro or Pablo to work on your bike, no one else! I, will never bring a bike there again.

I presented a list of demands, NONE of them involve service of the bike! They are repairing and painting both wheels to match, gave me a new battery, are reimbursing me for the labor and towing, and providing a loner for the duration of the downtime. We'll see where it goes from there. I do not wish or intend to abuse the situation, but considering they put my life in jeopardy, what would you do?

Bah Humbug!

2010-01-12T15:39:00.000-08:00

Why do I hate Christmas? Is it the rampant commercialism? Yes. Is it the boorishness and disregard for human beings that exponentially increases this time of year? Yes. Is it the ridiculous traffic that turns even the simplest of tasks into a taxing hair puller? Yes. Is it about people's pilfering of the planet by killing hundreds of thousands of life-giving trees for the sake of decoration and then irresponsibly discarding them without care? YES!

So last Tuesday, I left work around 7:30PM. I'm traveling south on La Cienega Bvd, which is 3 lanes in either direction and just crossed over Rodeo Drive in Culver City. I attain 60mph and am in the left lane with a van in front of me, a taxi to my right, another car in the right lane and a guardrail to my left. As we begin entering the curve, the van, without braking or swerving, runs over an obstacle in the road - of which I cannot see as the van is blocking its view. The van flung out the obstacle, which turned out to be a 7 foot tall f*#@ing Christmas tree that some gentle soul was so kind enough to discard/drop in the middle of the street, at night. This tree spun out from under the van, directly into my bike. With a guardrail to my left and car to my right, I had nowhere to go.

During what must have been nanoseconds, I, completely unknown to myself, surveyed the dismal situation, braced the tank with my legs, rose from the seat and pulled back. I have to say, hitting that tree at 60mph felt like I hit a wall! The front tire blew out instantly. I came to rest on the overpass leading to Kenneth Hahn park, under the street lamp. Clarity hadn't set in for a few more moments. I put the bike on the center stand and walked around her. The body all seemed alright. I couldn't tell if the suspension was damaged, but the front wheel was destroyed. I immediately called the local PD to remove the tree. Unfortunately it took them over 30 minutes to respond. Once I realized what had happened, i.e., what I had accomplished, I was rather surprised. Amazingly, I was able to keep the bike upright, cross 3 lanes of traffic, avoid being hit by cars 2 & 3 and pull the bike to safety. I am a decent rider, but this showed me that my skill level is beyond what I realized, and thankfully so.

While I am grateful I wasn't hurt, my disappointment with people and the situation had the better of me for quite a while. I now had no working transportation. I limped the bike back down to Rodeo and attempted filling it with air. It wouldn't hold anything over 25Lbs and only for a few moments. (As a reference, tires are rated for about 42Lbs). I then limped it to the next station whereupon I filled up the tire again, and so on and so forth until I got her back to the gallery.

I managed to find a wheel on Craigslist, picked it up, and with the help of a great friend, slapped on a new tire, balanced it and brought it back to the gallery to install. While it may be a different color, I'm back on the road within a couple of days. The Universe is a funny place...

While the photo does it a great injustice, this tree was 7 feet tall and about 8 inches in diameter at the trunk.

My baby in pieces at work.

With his pony pal Pokey, too...

2010-01-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

Do you remember those old Zenith TV's; the ones where the tube was only 25 inches, but was housed in a GIANT wood console that took up half the room, had the dials you had to turn by hand - which, consequently, turned us children into human remotes - and would kill a man if dropped or attempted to be moved?

The year was 1978. The place was Somerville, NJ - my grandparents' house on North Clark Ave. I was sitting on the floor in the living room, shrouded in what seemed like green astroturf, on which I was always skinning some extremity on a regular basis. Glued to the tube, I experienced Gumby for the first time. It was instant love. That this being could walk through walls and into books and their stories, was fascinating! To this day, some 30 + years later, I can still remember the song: "Gumby, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Gumby, doo doo doo doo doo doo..." Throughout the years of my childhood, I watched countless reruns of Gumby and Davey and Goliath. I still catch myself throwing references to my friends named Dave, "Hey Daaaaaavey," that get lost in the abyss. The show's severe religious undertones were lost on my 3 year-old noggin, but the animation was the lure.

Art Clokey, the mind and hands behind the iconic master of clay, died yesterday. It is a sad loss of a good-hearted and talented man. He had so much love for what he did, that he refused to allow merchandising of any kind for 7 years after the initial release of Gumby, for fear that the parents might feel exploited. That's a far cry from today's biz.

Anywho, without further ado, a small tribute to Mr. Clokey. Thank you for your contribution, Gumby's definitely a part of many of us!

The right thing?

2009-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

This weekend I was at the local motorbike haunt with my bud. We were picking up some parts and I was felicitously perusing the fare as a child might meander through a toy store. As I was ogling, I heard children laughing, playing. In the next moment I heard, "suck my dick" over the speaker system and suddenly became aware of the music playing, a song by Kid Rock.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a music lover. I'm also a proponent of free speech and anti-censorship. I'm rather liberal, I am by no means religious, nor do I have children of my own. Perhaps I'm getting curmudgeonly in my older age, but this struck me as entirely inappropriate. If the kids were in their teens, yeah, I suppose you could let it slide as I'm sure they've been exposed to quite a bit more at that age. If the parents had put this music on during a picnic or something, well then that's their choice, but this was a public setting. The children in the store were maybe between 6 and 9 years old and I felt responsible. While I was compelled to say something, in the back of my mind I could hear a little voice saying, "Really?! Are you really going up to bat with this, 'cause you're just gonna swing into nothin' but air and nobody cares."

After coming to fisticuffs with the little voice and laying him out in the corner with a black eye, I hesitantly approached one of the sales staff; someone I've seen there many times before and who knew my face. In as respectful and humble a tone as I could muster, I began explaining the situation to him. He immediately said, "Hold that thought, I want you to speak to someone! Follow me," and with near joy in his voice, introduced me to, whom I believe, was a manager. I told the manager that I was sorry to make a fuss, that I get that it's a bike shop - which has a certain vibe, shall we say, that goes with it - but that there are also families with kids walking around. I asked if I may make a suggestion, to which he urged yes, that they simply consider the music they play before airing it over the speaker system. The manager listened intently, told me that I was completely correct and thanked me for my input. My friend, on the other hand, lightly admonished me and stated that kids these days are conditioned already by such things.

So my question goes out to you, my exiguous and sparse readers. In my extant journey to be a better human being, was this the right thing to do? Or did I overstep my bounds and make a mountain out of a mole hill?

Pee Arr Eye Oh Arr Eye Tee Eye Eee Esssss...

2009-11-23T16:29:00.000-08:00

We can successfully hurtle 2 infinitesimally small particles of matter, protons, into each other to create a mind boggling scientific explosion (very cool) and yet we're unable to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and stabilize climate decline...

Hey everybody, we've created a black hole and unveiled all the secrets of the known Universe! Yaaaaaay! Of course, the ice caps are going to melt soon, thousands will die and the planet will change as we know it! Boooooo! It's clear where priorities lie. Very sad.

Django Reinhardt, eat your heart out!

2009-09-29T23:43:00.000-07:00

Ah yes, another one of those days...

2009-08-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

Why do we celebrate birthdays? As with many holidays, it seems to me commercial, overrated, and far too much effort. At least, that is, when it pertains to me... I don't like to make a big deal of it, with the exception of the markers, say 30, when I took a respite in nature. So on this day of days, I see it as any other. I got up this morning, worked, and headed home. I was lucky to get to see my friends L and S and help them with a couple of tasks around the house. I just love to spend time with them.

Now I'm home, I made myself a gin and tonic, mmmmmm, and relaxing on this most gorgeous of evenings. So cheers to you!

How many bullets do you got in that thing? Don't matter, here's why:

2009-08-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

Such the Hollywood cliche, this short takes a great poke! Enjoy!

Mama, they took it away! :(

2009-06-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, the skies seem a bit less blue... the grass less green. It is now official. Eastman Kodak has produced their last run of Kodachrome film. It's a line that has been the staple in nearly every photographer's bag from amateurs to professionals alike, for the last 74 years.

I am very sad. As a photographer of 22 years, I still shoot exclusively on film. Kodachrome has always been known for its beautiful hue productions. Unlike most of the other film types, the roll contained only silver in the emulsion and developed as black & white. It then went through a 3 color process that just made everything pop! It was always so crisp and bright, almost like magic! It was used for everything from home slides to pro ads, to all kinds of movies. It was what was in the camera of the Zapruder Film and virtually every other home movie enthusiast.

Remaining supplies are estimated to be expended by fall of this year. There is only one lab in the entire world that continues to develop Kodachrome and that is Dwayne's Photo in Kansas. It is a sad farewell to such a beloved medium and it will be missed by many. I leave you with what is probably the finest tribute such an icon deserves...

Atrocious Tyrannical & Tight-fisted

2009-06-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well, as most people now know, the new iPhone firmware releases tomorrow and the new hardware releases on Friday. During the Developers' Conference, it was revealed that the new hardware/firmware addressed many of the issues that have been lacking thus far. Sadly, some of the features that come with the new iPhone 3GS, are not compatible and hence unavailable to the 3G iPhone. :(

That aside, finally after 2 years, the iPhone finally has MMS capability. Normally I would be quite happy. I am greatly dismayed, however, with AT&T. With 2 new features of the 3.0 firmware, AT&T is the only world wide provider not offering them: MMS and Tethering. Now, I don't have a laptop and therefore tethering does not apply to me, (I do sympathize with all who use it) but no MMS?! I'm sorry, Apple devotees have just waited 2 entire years for this. Apple has received so much backlash about not having it on what is one of the greatest telecom technologies to date, has finally addressed it, and AT&T is not allowing use of MMS until "later this summer". Are you kidding me?! A serious pile of BS!

There is no way in the Universe that it's a technical issue. Think about it; Att boasts to be the "best" network with the "best" coverage, which we all know is bologna. They 're going to tell me that they're not prepared for MMS? Please! Phones that are 5+ years old have been using MMS without issue. All of Att's other phones/smart-phones have it. It's not like Apple, in secret, developed MMS capability then sprung it on Att saying, "Figure it out." They knew this was coming, and for some time. I have no doubts that they are delaying MMS in order to find some way that they can charge for it. People are paying over 100$/month, have unlimited data, are paying for texts and yet may have to pay for MMS? Preposterous! Obscene! Ludacrous! Deplorable! Now I could be wrong, but even Apple blasted them in the keynote by purposely advertising all of the world providers that will enable MMS except for Att...

Shame on Att! This is awful business practice and they should be embarassed! I personally expressed to them how displeased I and several of my fellow iPhone owners are. Hopefully, if more unsatisfied customers voice their concerns, Att's CEO will actually do something rather than simply acknowledge the problems and ignore it with comments like, "Well, the majority seems satisfied and that's good enough for me." With any luck, something beneficial will come. I am not counting my chicks, however. I have another year on my contract. By that time a new Apple device should be out and with the bandwidth upgrades, Verizon's network should be compatible with GSM and the iPhone. After that, it's so long Att and hello to the real best network!

Come on Honda, pretty please, with cherries on top? I'll be your bestest friend!!!

2009-05-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

Back in 2004, Honda created a concept sport bike that is known (as far as I can find) only as the NASa. As I am a Honda Hawk GT owner and devotee, and an avid Honda fan, I came across these photos while researching parts and tuning for my Hawk.

I am not a fervent proponent of sport bikes, but oh my holy crotch rockets, Batman...This is by far and away the sexiest, most dynamite machine I have ever seen! I would sell all of my bodily fluids and then some, to get my hands on this bike! What is Honda thinking? How could they NOT release a production version of this?! Not only does it have the iconic single sided swing arm, it also has a groundbreaking single sided front fork, dual front calipers, stainless steel braided coolant lines, ram air induction and the under-body exhaust is right out of a Roswell crash site! It's clean, it's mean, and oh boy it must be one hell of a ride! Street Fighter? Um, can anyone say 'Street Assassin'?!

I hope you enjoy this magnificent treat for the eyes half as much as I. And if anyone out there reading this happens to work for Honda, or know anyone who does... Please, please, PLEASE urge, plead, cajole, bribe them to revisit this bike!!!

Nature is Awesome!

2009-05-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

I spent the majority of my extended weekend riding my Hawk. The weather was simply, perfect! Here are a few shots from my iphone. I love where I live!

Sunset from Palos Verdes Drive East.

Downtown from Blair Hills

Whisps of sunlight from the top of Palos Verdes Peninsula

Foretelling the future?

2009-05-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

Is Palm telling the public something, or are they merely using clever marketing ploys? Either way, the new Palm Pre smartphone may finally give Apple a run for their money!

The Pre is quite impressive. It has a full touch screen with a slide out, tactile QWERTY keyboard. It touts all of the standards: MMS, interweb, wi-fi, email, 3 meg camera w/ flash, calenders, etc. Where it pulls ahead - some seemingly common sense yet fantastic abilities. It has a fully integrated processing system that not only allows the use of multiple apps simultaneously, but also lets you say - surf the web to buy tickets to Zappa Plays Zappa, then automatically creates a date event in your calendar with all of the info. How cool is that? It also organizes all correspondences with a particular person into one IM-type window, regardless of whether it was a phone call, text or IM.

Another cool feature is how it handles notifications. When I'm on my iPhone and using a particular app and a text or phone call comes in, that big ole window pops up right in the middle of the screen and prevents me from what I'm doing until I select 'ignore or reply'. The Pre has a little dashboard at the bottom of the screen that simply shows you what else is going on without interrupting the task at hand. It also has ambient light, accelerometer and proximity sensors like the iPhone. The screen is slightly smaller, 3.1" to the iPhone's 3.5". And at 3.9x2.3x.67" and 4.76oz, the Pre is relatively smaller, though thicker than the iPhone's 4.5x2.5x.5".

I downloaded the beta 3.0 firmware for my iPhone. It has some great improvements, some of which should have been native to the phone ages ago. 3.0, which should release around mid June, allows MMS messaging (finally), Cut/Copy/Paste (finally), universal search (meaning you can now search the entire phone for contacts, entries, whatever), and you can text and email in landscape format (finally). The phone is slightly more responsive. A new native app is included, Voice Memos. It is just as it implies. I prefer YouNote, as you can attach voice memos to your photos, notes, etc.

The Pre definitely appears as though it will be a heavy hitter. With some of its terrific abilities, Apple has a little catching up to do. The largest downfall of the Palm's new device, however, is that it initially will only be offered through Sprint. As a previous patron of 3.5 years, I can tell you that Sprint sucks bologna! As with most other Palm devices, however, I am certain that Verizon will offer it shortly in their own color of choice. As for the iPhone, a new hardware device - yes, that's right folks - a new iPhone is due out along with the firmware update. It's difficult to discern exactly what bells and whistles it shall flaunt. A short while ago Apple acquired a microprocessor company. It is certain there will be a much faster processor in the new iPhone, although we're all pulling for a multi-processor. A better camera will be included and overall, the phone will be more tailored towards the new bandwidth. Will Apple release the update first, or the phone? If they're smart, the update will come first, then the phone. This will prevent the complete server failure of last year when they released both simultaneously, and it will likely employ more veterans to seek out the new hardware. Personally, I'll be happy with my 3G for some time...At least until my contract runs out. ;D

So what's the verdict? While Jane and Joe Blow probably won't care very much, my fellow geeks and smartphone devotees are sure to be closely watching and anticipating. Although Apple's App store is ingenious, the Pre offers a wide variety of 3rd party apps in their own app store and an SDK. The developer's conference in 2.5 weeks will certainly have all eyes and ears glued!

Secta Chameleon - More Than a Feelin'

2009-05-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

Check out this very groovy gem. Complements of PuffyStatic. Long live Erector Sets!

SECTA CHAMELEON - MORE THAN A FEELIN' from Emil Goodman on Vimeo.

Chain up the pretty girls and release the Kraken...It's time to celebrate!

2009-05-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

In pure amazement to even myself, I managed to get my butt up before 8am, AND work out! AND did it twice!!! It sucks getting up, however, what a satisfying and uplifting sensation it is knowing that I've accomplished such an intense activity first thing in the day.

Mmmmmm... Yogaaaaaaahhhh

2009-05-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

Good for the body, good for the soul!

I feel somethin' creepin' in and I'm tired of this ga a a ame...

2009-04-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

So I'm hangin with a buddy at the Director's Guild, waiting in line to see Eden à l’ouest at the COL COA Festival last night. I go into the bathroom and as I'm freshening up, I see this big klingon on my beard. I think to myself, "Oh great, I've been walking around all day with lunch stuck to my face. And no one was cool enough to tell me?..."

As I wipe my hand across it, I notice it is still there. I lean in closer to the mirror and much to my surprise, and chagrin, it's not food at all, but a pure white hair poking out in all of it's raillery and bluster. Suddenly I see a small batalion of them, clearly visible, lurking about around my chin! I couldn't believe it! It's as though it happened in a matter of hours. I mean, I woke up in the morning, washed and groomed myself, and there was NOTHING there out of the ordinary!

Well, that's age I suppose... it certainly creeps, then pounces without warning!

Hey, what are you smirkin' at?! It's not funny!! It's not! {sniffle}

Vlad the Destroyer. A follow up...

2009-04-09T13:39:00.001-07:00

Well, much to everyone's dismay, or delight... Vlad, from previous entry, never did show his mug and the clients ultimately got their bench and then called me sometime thereafter to purchase again. HA!

As a follow up for Stu, and thanks to my friend PuffyStatic, I spied this tasty little morsel. Enjoy...

Ever notice that you never see a motorbike parked in front of a psychiatrist's office?...

2009-04-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

My bike has been in pieces for over 2 months now. There have been silly, crazy delays here and there. It is a very difficult sensation to overcome. It's as though I am walking around missing an appendage... This weekend I got a Harley Dyna on loan and rode around for the day. Now, cruisers are generally not my cup of tea, but the Dyna was lovely to ride. And yes, I must admit that I rather enjoyed the vibe and attitude that such a machine commands.

The skinny of it is, that it was extremely therapeutic. Riding around all day Saturday, down and up the coast, the sun shining, ocean breezing, salt airing... Peaceful and satisfying. I am sooo looking forward to getting my bike back together!

Damn...

2009-04-05T02:17:00.000-07:00

Mr. Snuffleupagus just fell off the wall! Oh Aloysius, why won't you stick? It wasn't I that said you jumped the shark...

Suck It!!

2009-04-05T02:14:00.000-07:00

Hello Houston? Um, er, uh, hold please...

2009-04-05T01:49:00.000-07:00

Well... I am trying. I made plans with a couple of friendly acquaintances, they used to be neighbors, but they had to bail last minute. I then went out tonight to support another friendly acquaintance who was having a charity affair for breast cancer. One woman I dated was there (who I still have the hots for) and another who is a friend of hers. There was live music. I had a couple of Blue Moons with a slice of orange. It was nice. At the end, I got the cold shoulder, big time! I told the gal I used to date that she looked as gorgeous as ever and if she ever wanted to get together, give me a ring. I held my hand out to hold/shake hers, she wouldn't even put out her hand... Brrr. Ah well, fuck her. Who needs that, right?. So I hopped on the Harley and rode back to the hood. Stopped off at a local fill station, had another BM (ha, not that kind of BM!), sang a song for the karaoke machine and headed home. Now I'm home, buzzed, listening to Floyd and writing this garbage. All in all, an interesting night I suppose.

I have been doing my best to not feel angry or rejected or bummed out. I'd say I'm fair to midland. That's all for now. Over and out.

Remember when you were you were young? Shine on...

Sorry sir, we have a strict No Return policy...

2009-03-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

Welp, this is it. I have come to realize and accept that I...am damaged goods. Change is a regularity of life. Some people stay exactly the same, but most go through different, sometimes several, and profound changes. I have definitely changed, learned, grown and evolved many, many times. The latest, I do not believe is for the better.

A few years ago I was in a down cycle. It happens. But I got through it on a solid upswing. I had grown weary of dating in this town and so resigned myself to myself, focusing on my art, my physical, mental and emotional health. Things were pretty darn good for a long while. Then, after Papa got sick and died, I met the Dr. at the airport coming home. What I thought would be a lifelong relationship, turned out not to be. It ended in May, badly, and really ended in July. In August I began a healing journey. I eliminated all gluten, all yeast, all dairy and all sugar from my diet. I was on a steady exercise regimen and had lost about 20 pounds. Things were great.

At the end of January, my bike went down and is still in pieces, my car broke down several times and finances grew dismal. I have turned more inward, and as of late, have become very lazy, reclusive, unmotivated and succumbed yet again to my deeply seeded emotional issues with food. I am much less tolerant, more angry, have ever increasing difficulty suppressing rage and ultimate despair and have regained weight. I have not been on a single date, let alone so much as embraced a woman, in almost 9 months. I feel as though I cannot really talk to my best friend as they stopped contacting me at one point because they felt I was too heavy and negative all the time, and the next closest friend of 10 years just cursed me out, swore me off and ended our relationship because I have apparently become a complete bastard.

I have been alone for the better part of my life thus far and have gotten on quite well. Only now am I dealing with feelings of loneliness for the first time. It's quite a conundrum really. I long for friendship and companionship and yet I am not suitable for anything as such. And the punchline: that it is, of course, my choice. I am ultimately choosing this state of being. And thus the question becomes not can I change (of course I can) but rather, will I make it happen...

It is often said that your 20's suck and life really begins at 30. I experienced more in my 20's than many only ever dream about their entire lives. Although I realize where the correct path lies, my eyes are fixed on the rear view mirror.

Krazy idea...

2009-03-03T16:10:00.000-08:00

If only there was a glue to fix broken people...

'09 Tally

2009-02-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

The new year's first month is officially over! So how does 2009 add up so far?

The Ugly: The marinated tofu I left in the fridge 2 weeks too long

The Bad: My bike is in the shop, my car broke down on the 405 during rush hour and will have to be retired in March, I have all but depleted my savings, I took a spill and bruised (possibly cracked) my ribs.

The Good: I will get my bike back before I have to retire my car, I am still breathing, I had a savings to deplete and I am working.

How's by you?

What's next?...

2009-01-22T21:56:00.000-08:00

So what do you give to the first black American President who gave his inaugural speech at the capital that was built by slaves? Why, a Chia head in his likeness of course! Oh boy...

A daliance of Dali...

2009-01-21T21:54:00.000-08:00

I have now bore witness to 7 different American Presidents in my life thus far. As never before, this is a very surreal experience. With other Executives-in-Chief who have taken office, they came in, took office, and they were our President(With the exception of G W's first 2 months having been spent on his ranch). While viewing and watching a barrage of various photos and videos of Obama in office, performing his Presidential duties, it just feels, odd...again for lack of another word, surreal.

2009-01-03T00:28:00.000-08:00

At times, I am frightened to the brink of tears wondering what's to become of me...what I should do with myself.

Foot Fetish

2008-12-18T12:27:00.001-08:00

Fuel for travel to Iraq on Air Force One:
43,787.55 American Taxpayer Dollars

Blue-Grey Oxxford suit for fairwell speech:
14,000 American Taxpayer Dollars

1 pair of leather Iraqi loafers:
41,416.55 Dinars (about 35$)

The look on W's face: Priceless

So if you climb Half Dome twice, do you call it Whole Dome?

2008-10-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

Greetings and Salutations! It's been a couple of weeks... sorry to keep all 1 of my readers in the lurch! I have just settled down from a couple of weekends of traveling. I was eagerly awaiting photos from my dear friend Erin and finally got them tonight!

So what's the hub bub, bub? A few weeks ago, Erin called me up out of the blue. I had a hunch something was off as she moved from Santa Monica(20 mins away) to Hermosa Beach(4 mins away) almost 6 months ago and I never heard from her again until now... She had just broken up and needed desperately to get out of LA. "I wanna get into the wilderness and I refuse to do it with anyone but you! I wanna do Half Dome!" For those of you who may not know, Half Dome is a national landmark made famous by the likes of John Muir and Ansel Adams. At almost 9000ft, it is one of the highest peaks in Yosemite National Park in the High Sierras. 3 years ago, I decided that I needed to ring in my 30th birthday by doing something new, adventurous, and completely outrageous. I did a 1 week excursion through Yosemite that took me across over 60 miles of terrain and traversed over 40,000ft in elevation, and all with a 75 pound pack and a pair of Skechers! I hiked Glacier Point, Half Dome, Clouds Rest and then did a white water rafting trip down the Tuolumne River through class V rapids! Just as a guideline, class VI is the highest category and is universally regarded as completely unmanageable by humans.

And off we went! 2 weeks ago we set off on the 4.5 hour drive north. We arrived around 9.30a, obtained our permit for wilderness camping, geared up and were off. We hiked about 20 miles and climbed a total of about 15,000ft! In 2 days!!! Needless to say, I'm not in quite the shape I was 3 years ago. But I managed. 65 pound pack and all. We camped about 2 miles from the base of Half Dome. Now I had been studying the forecasts for about a week and a half precluding our trip. They all said the same thing: highs of 60, lows of 30. No sweat! I have a +30 bag and plenty of layers. Well... leave it to meteorologists to drop the ball, and the temp... It got to -4 at night! It was f*#@ing cold! Erin and I had to squeeze into 1 mummy bag to stay warm. We also had a black bear come through camp looking for food, she kept me up for a while.

There was something profoundly different this time around. When I was up in the atmosphere the first time, I was awe struck at the splendor, however, I think that my sense of accomplishment overshadowed anything else. When I reached the peak this time, I was flooded with such a wave of emotion at the beauty around me, it brought me to tears. And then I instantly felt Papa, right there with me. I was filled with so much joy, comfort, peace... I love you Papa!

As I like to say, it was gorgeous but grueling! I'm glad I did it, and that it was with Erin. It was such a cleansing and life long experience for her and we really got to bond again. If ever you have the gumption, do it! You won't be sorry, I promise! Being surrounded by raw nature this way just feeds you and drives you harder and beyond any limits you think you may have! And the sense of wonder, astonishment, belonging and perspective you will acquire will stay with you for the rest of your life. Still, that week long trip I made is by far one of the greatest experiences of my life and I practically explode when I recount it!

Erin and I in full pack

Half Dome 2005 (Nice legs!)

The real deal...

2008-10-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

I have to say I am extremely disappointed. In all of the debates, during all of the interviews, the candidates have been barraged with questions regarding the economy. What do they think will happen, what do they plan to do about it. All candidates have daintily danced around direct action answers. Not once has anyone addressed the simple truth: We, the people-the public, are the fuel in the machine! We are that which drives the economy! Most people are terrified of what's happening, sadly many are ignorant about it too. If the people are freaking out and pulling and/or withholding their capital from banks and the market, of course it plummets! And then there was the bogus bailout that failed to do anything! So now Joe and Jane Schmoe (most of us) have to foot a 700 Billion dollar bill for nothing!!!!

People think it's 1929 all over again, that because the market is taking a dive we're headed for another depression. It wasn't the Great Stock Market Crash that started the depression, it was the credit freeze that followed the crash. The government is backing up banks to kinoodle the credit crunch along. That's a start.

So what's the real deal? The correct answer is confidence must be instilled in us, in the people. That's not being done.

Entomological enigma explained!!!

2008-10-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the superlative savoir faire of my dear fried Leslie, I have solved my mysterious insect invasion! My initial thoughts on the hive/nest/castle were termite in origin but the exterminator's ID had me befuddled. And the big bug was just extraterrestrially freaky. I was at Leslie and Stu's house this weekend past and began explaining the encounter. She told me it sounded like a potato bug and that she had dug one up in the garden years prior.

Now, I always thought those little grey bugs that roll up when you touch them were potato bugs. Oh nay nay! I showed her the photo and she confirmed that it looked like her bug. I then Googled (don't you just love how Google has become a globally accepted verb?!) potato bugs and BLAMMO! See for yourself:

So there you have it! The nest was created by termites and the big guy, also known as a Jerusalem cricket, which normally lives underground, feeds on decaying roots and insects. Apparently the giant gap under my front door and the building's termite infestation were an upsize-combo it simply couldn't resist!

A lesson in humility

2008-10-05T20:05:00.001-07:00

Try as I may to be as conscious an individual as possible and to not judge people or play into stereotypes, I still at times, unaware in the moment, do. Last week when the exterminator came over to tend to my mysterious insect imbroglio, I passed a judgment. He was a tall, husky young man, soft spoken with a weighty presence. I, in hindsight, immediately followed the mental path of: this guy's a blue collar worker, an exterminator, burly, uncaring, trudging along, just makin' a buck, will clod all over my shoeless apartment... I later apologized to the Universe.

Aaron was, is an incredibly sweet and compassionate individual and had a very peaceful energy. He arrived before the manager and so we struck up a conversation. I invited him in and offered him a glass of water. He sat and observed. I began taking my daily morning regimen of herbs and supplements. He inquired about them and of course that brought up my ex girlfriend. She is a doctor of ancient Oriental medicine and herbology and was creating and supplying me with herbal formulas. And this led to a brief explanation of our break up.

Aaron was extremely sympathetic and empathetic. He talked to me of his previous relationship which was also long distance. It ultimately failed. He is currently involved in a 4 year relationship with a woman. He began to speak of how they came to be and how they still are. He said that at some point he sat with her and discussed all of the things that annoyed or bugged him about her, had her do the same and proposed ways to deal with those nuances. I am a firm believer and preacher of open communication. It's a dire necessity in any relationship. Not all people can do it, or do it in a supportive rather than harsh and critical way.

My attention was already deeply entrenched. He then said that people get themselves in trouble when they put themselves before their loved one. "You have to put the other person first. If you put yourself before your partner it just won't work." In the moment, it was profound. It's a notion that I've practiced all my life, however, have never put it into words or conscious thought before. Here was this young, unassuming man before me, awakening such a simple yet universally critical idea.

I later gave this much thought. Now I am one who has sacrificed much of myself for others to the point of infirmity and great malfeasance to my being. For this reason I have slight issue with the idea of always putting someone else before me. We do need to take care of ourselves. There must be a balance; a healthy balance, one that allows us to help and sacrifice a bit, without losing or harming ourselves in the process.

I began overlaying this idea atop my relationship with the Doctor. In the beginning and well into things, I was willing and excited to help her. To be with her. To pack up my life and move across the country. She had 2 practices in NY, I"m an artist. It seemed a no brainer. I was so eager to help her with her business and get her to the place I knew she belonged. While she would constantly throw in the towel due to her insecurities and fears, I forwent the pain it caused me over and again and always talked things out to her, lifted the veil so that she could see that she was valuable and deserving and had nothing to prove. Eventually, I grew weary. The incessant doubts, unsupportive tones and insults ultimately cracked my iron foundation. Suddenly I began thinking about what I wanted or didn't want. I didn't want to move back to NY. I didn't want to leave my beloved California. I didn't want to have to worry about attempting to gain employ in a consistently plunging economy. I didn't want to deal with her 2 dogs and 6 cats. I didn't like pet hair. I didn't want to have to walk them all the time. I didn't like how arrogant she was all of the time or that she never took accountability, et cetera, et cetera. I was putting me first. that's when the relationship began it's decent for me, consciously.

Aaron's wisdom has been both comforting and self assuring for me. I am very pleased we met. We exchanged numbers and I am looking forward to our next conversation.

Mommy, where do street signs go when they die?

2008-10-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

I spotted this great little trove hiding in Culver City.

Visitor from afar...

2008-10-02T23:13:00.000-07:00

Well, Santa came to my house early this year! I had pulled my sofa away from the wall to vacuum and found this:

Needless to say, I was perplexed! And then I found this:

My hypothesis was a termite hive. The exterminator came today. He said it's an Egyptian cricket. I thought, "Wow! From the land of the Pharaoahs! What an honor!" So I looked it up and this looks nothing like said creature.

Perhaps it is a species of mole cricket:

I've been scouring the web with my net and have as of yet come up empty handed. Whatever this guy or gal was, they were a busy little bugger to spit or poo a 2ft x 1ft nest/hive/sand castle behind my friggin' sofa!

Made your decision yet?

2008-10-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

So are you still swaying? Did you watch the VP debate tonight and think, "Wow, Palin actually held her own and did a great job! Maybe she's got what it takes after all."? Well then please check this video response out by Lawrence Lessig. He's a law professor at Stanford, as well as a political activist, co-founder of Creative Commons, a proponent of looser restrictions on copyright and trademarks for technology advancement purposes, and launched the website Change Congress to bring light to and counter political corruption. And that's just a snippet of his resume.

Now ask yourself the same question...

The Human Condition?

2008-10-01T00:10:00.000-07:00

Why do people hurt each other? Why do we put ourselves and others through such emotional turmoil? Is it because we are really so unhappy? It's sad. I am sad.

The trouble with tribulation...

2008-09-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

At this point in my life, with what I have experienced, it is difficult for me to believe that all relationships won't eventually fail, fall short, die out, that love or attraction won't ultimately wain...

Yes, of course I see that for some this isn't the case; that there are couples that live and grow and continue to be happy and healthy throughout their relationship. I just am having trouble keeping the faith for myself. I know that I deserve it, but am I capable of it? Doubting yourself is a tough reality. I thought, for the first time in my life, that I was going to spend the rest of my life with a woman. Now I look back and feel a bit foolish. Perhaps it was overzealousness of having a serious relationship for the first time in 9 years. Not that I've been hunting for one these past years mind you, quite the opposite actually. This one just wolloped me from behind while I had long been reserved to solitude. Who knows? It is lonely at times...

Evidently pinchin' pennies ain't for politicians.

2008-09-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings fellow Californians! So we still have no budget. Surprised? No? Well how 'bout this: the current proposal to curb the state deficit is to levy an advanced state tax increase of 10%, returned to us in 2010. With the 8th highest tax rate in the country and a wopping 15 B I L L I O N $ deficit...what the heck?! Ok so the government is inept, this I understand. Why not then have us, the citizens, take over and correct that which the government could not. I live in California, I love it, so sure, I have responsibilities. Seems reasonable, right? Oh, did you know that there will be no interest due to us tax payers for lending our hard earned money to the state?. The CA government gets to take our money in advance and we get nothing in return. Now, is it greedy to expect some sort of bump, something in return for bailing out our state? I don't know.

Well, consider this. The per capita personal income for CA residents is approximately 40,000$. CA is one of the wealthiest states in the country. We also have the greatest number of millionaires per capita in all of America. In addition, our state has a greater disparity between the rich and the poor than the entire USA! This illustrates that although there is such an enormity of wealth, there is a greater concentration of poor. So what's my point already?

A previous proposition to curb the state debt was to increase taxes on those earning over 321,000$ a year in an effort to prevent budget cuts to state wide services such as education. It was denied. By whom you ask? By Republicans. As the proposal was presented by Democrats and the rich majority tends to be Republican, go figure. So because of their greed, it very well may be that the scores of struggling families and everyone barely getting by on the skin of their teeth, will have less money to put food on the table with, and an even further decrease in their quality of life. And it's all because those who have more than they'll ever need and who can actually afford to, are too damn selfish to pitch in a little extra. Ah, freedom of choice at it's finest.

What the heck is Cream of Tartar?!

2008-09-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

So I'm making myself dinner this fine eve and decided to experiment a bit with some spices. As I shuffled around my collection I unearthed two small, mostly full and unused shakers of Cream of Tartar. I pillaged them from my mum's cupboard (back in the 90's) and I've had them for yeeeeeears! Why?

Growing up when I did, home cooking was all there really was. Sure, fast food became popular in the 80's, but throughout my childhood my grandfather and mother were always a cookin'. It was a blessing for me as I've reaped the benefits of learning my way around a melon baller! ;D Out of all of the spices I have seen, known and used in my life thus far, I have never understood what the heck cream of tartar is or what it's really used for. So for those of you who have ever pondered the curious teleology of cream of tartar, enjoy the results of my arduous and taxing research on the subject.(actually it was more like 2.56 seconds on the interweb)

Cream of Tartar is an acid salt that is created when tartaric acid is half neutralized with potassium hydroxide, thus transforming it into a salt. Grapes are the only significant natural source of tartaric acid and cream of tartar is obtained from sediment left behind during wine making. Hunh! So why would you use it?? Well, if you wanted to stabilize and volumize your egg whites or make that frosting or desert sauce a bit creamier, use C of T. Oh, and it's great for polishing your brass or copper cook wares!

With great power...

2008-09-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

My last entry got me thinking... Would it be irresponsible of us to dispose of all of our country's nuclear weapons?

For the better?...

2008-09-08T17:07:00.000-07:00

It's pretty apparent the education system in this country is less than lack luster. It's been in a steady decline for several years and America is far behind many countries in the quality, quantity, and access of education. It has been buffeted by so many budget cuts, soaring tuitions, ineffective/unaffecting teachers and leaders, corruption, unfair standards and a continually less enthused and inattentive student body.

As with our government, radical change is severely needed. Up to the plate comes Washington D.C. Chancellor of Education, Michelle Rhee. First she closed several schools that were suffering and not keeping students up to par. She then 86'd a number of principals and teachers who were not, pardon the pun, making the grade. And now, in an attempt to boost not only GPA's but overall upstanding behavior of students/children, she has implemented a cash incentive in the amount of 100$, to be paid each month to those who are studious and excercise good moral comportment in the community.

As a child and certainly as a parent who is at wits end trying to motivate their child to do well in school, this is awesome!!! There are however, several people, both parents and faculty alike, who are deeply opposed to such actions. They feel that it will only hurt students in the long run.

I believe that it starts with solid nurturing from the parents and then ultimately culminates in the child's sense of self and achievement (which are constantly bombarded by multiple external influences). I'm not entirely sure on which side of the fence I sit regarding this issue. I certainly give credit where credit is due. Kudos Chancellor Rhee! I am behind brave and radical change to break through hurdles 150%. It's the cash incentive that I'm uncertain of. In a progressively desensitized society, however, I suppose it comes down to using whatever stimulus you can find that instigates positive response...

Navel Vortex... How vexing!

2008-08-28T23:43:00.000-07:00

Fellas and fellitas. If you have an inny, please for the sake of all that is sacred, clean it on a regular basis! I was recently preparing to shower and saw some lint in that joyous of lint collection pools. As I began some overdue maintenance, out popped the Paddington Bear doll I lost when I was 2!

Learn your lessons well, kids!

Helen, Helen Wheels...

2008-08-28T23:04:00.001-07:00

I love riding! It's just so much incredible fun as well as great therapy! It also has its perks. On my way home this evening, I pulled up behind a young lady on a bike at a light. I think she was searching for neutral and put it in gear. She stalled. I chuckled a little. I figured she was a newbie. I remembered when I was a kid and was learning how to ride. I stalled constantly!

She saw me in her mirror. She started up, turned back and gave me the thumbs up. I pulled up next to her and we chatted for a moment. She bought the bike 2 weeks ago and has been riding for a month. I wished her a safe ride and to enjoy it as much as possible then rode off.

Further down the road, I pull up to another bike. This time it was a yellow Honda SuperHawk. I look over to say hello and it's another lovely lady! If you're wondering what the big deal is, firstly, women bikers are rare, secondly, I find women bikers extremely sexy! We exchanged greetings and the light changed. A few blocks up we hit another light. She smiled and made a comment I couldn't quite make out. We then both hit a fresh red light and made formal introductions. I can't help but remember her smile, so white and friendly! And her eye brows really stood out. They are dark, angular, and really drew my attention.

She was heading to Hermosa to visit a friend. Funnily enough, she lives in LA and commutes to the South Bay whereas I live in the South Bay and commute to LA... Anywho, she was really cool. We both road off through the Baldwin Hills and onto the 405. She blew by me and waved. I followed her off her exit and at the first stop, pulled up and asked if she'd like to go for a ride this weekend. She motioned and told me to pull over. She told me she'd really like to, however, her mother will be visiting from Alaska this weekend. She then reiterated that she'd really like to. She gave me her number and told me to call her so we could make a rain date. How cool is that?!

Pain...real or imagined?

2008-07-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

My heart hurts.

No silly, atonement isn't what you put in the fax machine!

2007-10-26T21:24:00.001-07:00

An artist discovers his genius the day he dares not to please. - André Malraux

Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in. - Amy Lowell

Art is coming face to face with yourself. -
Jackson Pollock

What is real is not the external form, but the essence of things . . . it is impossible for anyone to express anything essentially real by imitating its exterior surface. - Constantin Brancusi

It's only words... unless they're true. - David Mamet

All art is autobiographical; the pearl is the oyster's autobiography. - Federico Fellini

We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth. - John F. Kennedy

Every great work of art is offensive to someone, for a work of art is a protest against things as they are and a proclamation of things as they ought to be. - Gerald W. Johnson

Censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates in the end the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion. -
Henry Steele Commager

The writer must be willing, above everything else, to take chances, to risk making a fool of himself - or even to risk revealing the fact he is a fool. - Jessamyn West

What marks the artist is his power to shape the material of the pain we all have. - Lionel Trilling

A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art. - Paul Cezanne

Art is a way of saying what it means to be alive, and the most salient feature of existence is the unthinkable odds against it. For every way that there is of being here, there are an infinity of ways of not being here. Historical accident snuffs out whole universes with every clock tick. Statistics declare us ridiculous. Thermodynamics prohibits us. Life, by any reasonable measure, is impossible, and my life—this, here, now—infinitely more so. Art is a way of saying, in the face of all that impossibility, just how worth celebrating it is to be able to say anything at all. - Richard Powers

Art is long, life short; judgement difficult, opportunity transient. - Goethe

The artist is always engaged in writing a detailed history of the future because he is the only person aware of the nature of the present. - Wyndham Lewis

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean that you're an artist...

Now begins my personal practice of humility...Through many, many years of denial and self doubt, and the constant badgering (lovingly so) of various wonderful people in my life, I have been able to grasp the realization, nay embrace it, that I am an artist. As I have stated before, it is my life, my purpose for existence in this body; through the struggles, the triumphs, the countless defeats, the snickers, the praises, the befuddlements, the astounding set backs and self deprecations, the revelations...
It is what I do, in whatever shape, form, colour, or medium it may embody: photography, painting, writing, sculpture, performing...

As we are merely the summation of our experiences and people in our lives, it is life, my life and the people and things in it that inspire me, motivate me, provide me the sustenance to create. It is my process. I am also a performer and thus my work is projected beyond myself. What I do, I do out of a dire necessity to express, to share, to heal, to grow. In the far distance follows a hope that someone, somewhere, sometime, may derive emotion, inspiration, perspective, insight, or strength from the remains. I do not do this with malintent for, or praise by others.

In the wake of Papa's death and my tellings of it, it has been brought to my attention that not everyone may understand this, and/or has serious personal issue with it. As I am merely a fallible creature and stumbling along my own path, I sought counsel from some dear and wise people in my life. I first asked the brother I never had, my spiritual and intellectual anchor, his input. His first remark was that I made an ethical screw up in publishing a private moment. He then followed by saying that what was written was very nice, honest, candid and bittersweet, nothing seemed out of place. I also asked my other brother from another mother his input. His reply was, "Dude, you're an artist to the core, it's stamped on your ass! What you wrote is so you! It's the only thing you know and anyone who knows you, will get it. Not everyone will get that." I also told a fabulous and connected woman in my life, quite frankly one of the most amazing people I have ever (re)met, that I had every intention of writing about her presence in my life. I asked how she feels about that. She asked me not to yet, as it is between us. And so with this in mind, I have been in a state of reflection and this is the product.

I am concerned that I may have acted in a behavior that I admonish. Whether this is true or not and I am correct in my assumption or not, I express myself thusly...
We all, each of us, have different stress point tolerances, emotional triggers, psychological stamina, brute strength, levels of communication, comprehensions of the world, of our own worlds, of each other... I love my family!! My entire family, with no exclusions. Sometimes, we F*@# up, or misunderstand, or misinterpret or miscommunicate. Sometimes we don't want to be bothered, or are unable to deal. Sometimes we assume, presume, collectivize, or minimize. Sometimes we don't focus on what the important issue is at hand and get caught up in our own poo instead. Sometimes we get so encompassed in trying to care for everyone else, we forget ourselves for the worse rather than the better. Of these, we are all guilty, regardless of what family!

For anyone on who's behalf I misspoke, I sincerely apologize. If it seems as though I am attempting to elevate myself above anyone, I am not. To those who I have expressed my disappointment in, please know that it in no way signifies a loss of love! I have inadvertently disappointed people at times. If they stopped loving me, I'd have no one to share life with. You see, we don't usually realize that we let someone down momentarily. That's where the beauty lies in people telling us. If no one ever told me I had done so, cripes man, I'd never think to cut it out and be more conscious!

The death of a loved one is probably one of the most emotionally and mentally taxing environments to be immersed in. People say and do things they don't mean, they don't realize, they shouldn't. I think it is, in part, a way to release and attempt to make ourselves feel better and more important. Thankfully, forgiveness, understanding and family love have the power to persevere.

The odd irony of to whom...

2007-10-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

Papa is dead. 8.35am, Monday October 8th, 2007. We had been giving him 2 different meds all week. Morphine for the pain, and RDHP(or something-I'll figure it out later) which is a 4 drug cocktail to help him relax and sleep. It all had worked rather well until Sunday nite. Throughout the course of the nite, Papa grew more and more agitated. He continually complained of having to go (to the bathroom). Each time I would lower his bed rail, get him standing, up over to the commode, and then back into bed. And each time, nothing would come. You see, he didn't really have to go, it was the blood building up in his abdomen that was creating pressure and making him feel as though he did. He began complaining of back pain and stomach pain, and so I gave him morphine. He was restless, and so I gave him the other meds. He was still restless, more meds, the third time he got up, he tremored slightly, then began to pass out. I got him back into bed. I sat him up just to situate him in the bed and he began to pass out again. Now he was quiet. The look in his eyes as they glazed over was a gut wrenching sight.

I knew it was time. I ran upstairs and woke Nana and my mum. Papa came to and was in discomfort. I gave him 2 more shots of morphine. He finally began to relax. We called everyone and they all arrived post haste. As all seven of his children, and all of his grandchildren stood in the room, around him, watching him, Papa's respirations grew shallower and less frequent. And then, finally, he partook of his last mortal breath. Nana was right there, at his side, and she burst wide open. She leaned her body over his and lay on top of him, crying, weeping, shouting "No!". The rest of the family followed. I immediately went to her side, holding her, in an attempt to console her and reassure her that it was alright. His body was no longer in pain. He was in the room with each and all of us. My mother stood at his head, with her hands cradling his cheeks. I rose and went to her side. "He's ok now. He's still here, ya know?." She cried. "I know.", she muttered under sobs, and I embraced her.

As my mum and aunts helped Nana into the kitchen, I sat down beside Papa. I held his arm, his right arm with his sacred heart in mine. I lingered on the inks of our arms, together, one last time. "Hey there old man." I couldn't move my eyes from him, the man who raised me, instructed me, led me, cherished me, respected me, loved me unconditionally, who was proud of me, who never forgot me during even the worst of his alzheimer's, the man whom I idolize, exalt, appreciate and adore. The way I have known him these 32 years, is no more. Being blessed with my spirituality and level of awareness, I realize that death is merely a transition from the physical shell, and that Papa still exists and flourishes. With this in mind, I just sat there, regarding him, taking my last, deep, concrete visions. Tears again, crested my eye but never quite broke. Then they were gone.

Mum called the hospice nurse who was at another house in Basking Ridge. She got stuck in traffic and didn't arrive to officially pronounce until well after 9 o'clock. I stood beside the nurse as she dispensed all of the remaining meds into paper towels and then into the trash. She quickly completed her paperwork, expressed her sincere condolences, and then left. The coroner came shortly after 10, alone, in his white wagon. He removed an orange Reeves stretcher from the back and then proceeded up the front steps. I pulled up Papa's pj's under the sheet...You see, he was an exceptionally modest man, to the end, and I wanted him to be able to have that. We then rolled Papa to me, placed the stretcher under him, rolled him away, and unrolled the stretcher. After covering him in a sheet, I helped the M.E. cinch up the straps and us 6, Uncle Rob and Frank, Robert, Christopher, Steven and myself, each took a handle and carried Papa to the wagon, onto the gurney, 2 buckles, and in he went..."See you later old man."

At noon, I went with my mother and Nana, along with mum's friend, to the funeral home to make the arrangements for Papa's cremation and service. I was absolutely flabbergasted! I never fathomed how much goes into caring for dead loved ones and how many details there are! We were there for a good 3 hours easy! Social Security benefits transferring, how many death certificates needed, where do they have to go, what about his insurance going to Nana, obituary, urn, what clothes to cremate him in, priest, VFW, repass, flowers, food, music, photos, contacting all the legalities concerned, what will medicaid cover, what won't it cover, prayer cards, words, holy moly! Phew...finally over and back to the house.

Oh the dramma!...

Well before we left for the parlor, I handed everyone pen and paper, and asked them to write some things they would like said about Papa in the obit. Aunt J was the only person able to sit down and write about Papa and her love for him. M began writing the names of the kids and grandkids, but was ferklempt and could not continue. When we left, no one was able to give us anything else. For what we thought we could afford, we put the names of each of the children with their spouses, and each of the grandchildren, then the number of great grandchildren. Now apparently, my cousin J has recently found reason to believe that his first child might not actually be his child. Because of this, he and his wife, D, had resolved to not include her as a grandchild. Somehow Aunt N had incited between herself and D, an argument about this (they've not gotten on from the get go). Nana decided she wanted J's first child counted because in Papa's heart, she was his great granddaughter and we needed to do right by him and what is in his heart! J took offense to this because no one talked to him about it first, and D, who had for the entire weekend, holed herself up in either the basement or mum's bedroom because of issues she has with her estranged deceased father, was right along side of him.

I couldn't believe what the two of them were doing. This was about Papa and they were making it about themselves. I attempted to reason with the both of them and D lost her patience and shot me down, gave me the hand and walked away with closed ears. J couldn't get over how no one talked to him and he's the last to know. "It's not about you, bud." Well, J and D's children, H and B, whom I love and adore, were not talking to myself or my mother. How really odd! I couldn't believe that their mother, actually instructed them not to talk to us. And as I was downstairs talking with J and pulling teeth to make him understand the sitch, B barreled down and whispered to him that mommy said he shouldn't talk to me! I was dumbfounded. D came down and began packing up their luggage to load with every intent of leaving. Before the service, "What happened between you and your dad sucks! I get it! But you dragged those children all the way up here to support your husband in his grief for his grandfather, and so that they could see Papa one last time. That's what this is about!"

Wednesday October 10
They had disappeared before the service and we were left to the conclusion that they weren't coming. Nana was furious. We arrived to the parlor, and there they were...thankfully, however the kids were still avoiding us like plague. The service was nice. My Grandpa came! It was soooo good to see him! I got to meet plenty of folk, and see some I've not seen in many years. The VFW boys were great, they presented Nana with a bible, flag, and played taps...that set off alot of people. After the words, and as some were departing, H and B came running up to mum and myself and latched on to our legs. We gather that J had finally had enough! He and D got right into their car and left though. I am so disappointed in D. My mother, Nana, Papa, and myself, welcomed her to the family with open arms, respect, and compassion. I've spent many a night and noon on the phone with them, trying to help them communicate with each other and save their marriage. And she comes into the house, and does what she does. I and everyone else love J and the kids to death! I don't think D will be welcomed back in mum and Nana's home, or anyone else's. It's sad that things happened the way they did.

Tending to the Garden (state)...it makes you strong, but sure gets dirt under the nails!

2007-10-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity. ~Gilda Radner

Vvvvvvvv Vvvvvvvvv (the sound of my phone vibrating). "Marty, Papa's in the hospital. He's dying." These are the words I woke up to this Friday morning. At 4am, Papa had gotten out of bed to pee and fell. My mum ran in to pick him up and as she did so, his eyes rolled up and he passed out (hmmm, sounds eerily familiar, eh?!). At the ER, an MRI was done and an aneurysm was found in his stomach. 8cm, leaking, and bleeding out into his abdomen. Having just celebrated his 88th birthday, and having undergone such illness and trauma only a couple of years ago, the doctor knew that Papa would not survive surgery to close it. All there is to do is wait...

I was on the first available flight out. Now 529$ for an "emergency fair" hardly seems compassionate considering the internet fair was 529$...I'll have to have a word with US Airways at a later date. I touched down in Newark at 10.55pm EST, hopped a cab and was on my way to the house. FYI, don't take a cab from Newark to the greater Bridgewater area unless you're willing to drop 75-100! Phew! The taxi pulled up, I jumped out, and the first thing I saw was the gaping smile of my Uncle Rob. I hugged him so tightly I could breathe through his lungs.

After being buffeted by family hugs, handshakes and kisses, I made it to Papa's bedside. The lights were low, the air stifled yet calm, and I sat in a blond wooden chair with oddly lain spindles that whispered "back breaker" from across the room. I looked at him in the dim glow and lay my hand to his right arm. His eyes opened briefly and instantly connected with my obsequious gaze. "Hiya sweetheart.", he said. " Hi Papa. I'm here. It's ok now. I love you. You are the greatest man in my life, you always will be.", I whispered into his ear as I stood, leaning over him, holding his cool dry hand, as he drifted off. "Okay."

It is now late night Saturday. I don't know that I could aptly put into words the feelings I possess at seeing my entire family in one place for the first time in decades! Rightly said, it sucks that the dying of my grandfather is the reason, however, it is still magnificent. Let not death ease the mind of trivial burden, though! Despite the circumstance, my family still manages to bicker, bitch, and chide each other. It got to the point where it was happening right over Papa's bed. That was enough. I told them to get out of the room. Now! I had a little talk with everyone for failure to know what else to do. I mean, here's my family, as much dysfunction as there is, I love them! Each and every one, with a passion! But this is not about them. It's about Papa! The man laying in bed, dying. The only father I've ever known, and their father! Not only is it bad juju for Papa, it was tearing Nana apart. And my mother...the Universe knows we've had a bitter and terrible relationship for many years (which I'm working on for all those scrutinous eyeballs out there!) and even from 3000 miles away I could see that she's been the pillar of the family! She took in Nana and Papa of her own accord, has taken care of them, provided for them, delt with all the poo from everybody, including myself, and she's still standing, still there. I saw a dire necessity in bringing this to the light for everyone. For cryin' out loud, just cut it out!

Calmness has now come. In the several moments I have sat at Papa's side, regarding him in the night, smiles come to my face. Smiles of memories in passing, of Barney's, of his treasure trove of found items stashed in the drawer of the night stand, of his finger and thumb firing off with a wink and a "Pkkkewgh", of the amazing man he has been.

I'd be a liar if I told you I shed no tears. They've been teenie tiny, and have not quite crested the inner eyes, but they've made themselves known. I've been preparing for this for a while now. It began when I embarked on my journey to the west coast those 8 years ago. Oh how the flood gates flew open! Knowing that I was traversing a continent and leaving Nana and Papa behind was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life! Now yesterday, I was fighting back bouts of anxiety trying to arrange my flight here, but that all eased once he looked up at me with those big blues. I find comfort in knowing my peace is made. For as his body, merely a shell, dwindles, his spirit will flourish.

One of the crowning moments of the trip so far has been hangin' with my cousins R and J. We grew up together, intermittently, but none the less. And we three amigos bunked in the basement last night, rehashing old memories of yore, catching each other up on our lives and accomplishments, and perusing old photos. It was a hoot! And the second moment was probably seeing my cousin Charlie bound down the stairs in his clean shaven, hair combed, silk shirt wearin', cologne totin' greatness! He drove down from new Hampshire today. It was sooo great to see him again. Damn, I'm chokin' up... Pluukkeh! Excuse me.

Vlad the Destroyer

2007-09-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

About 2 and a half weeks ago, a lovely young lady came into the gallery. She had seen a 1940's French caned bench on our website and had to have it. The bench happened to be in our Lambertville, NJ location and was not priced. I called Benjamin, the owner, and told him that I had a young lady in my presence who wanted the bench. Priced much higher, I offered her 1000$ off for that day only. Benjamin also offered to ship it out to LA for free. She was concerned about the shipping time as she was leaving town for several months. Benjamin said it should arrive in about a few weeks and I relayed, word for word, to my client. She bought it, and sashayed out the door with a smile on her face and a bounce in her step.

Let's fast forward slightly. Last week I received a phone call from Vas. Now Vas is our lovely young lady's husband. He was perturbed because I told her that the bench would arrive in 7 to 10 days and it's been 7 to 10 days, and where's their bench? I was very accommodating, as I believe in great customer service. I apologized about the misunderstanding and informed him that the estimate was a few weeks, not 7 to 10 days. He wasn't very pleased but we reached an amenable accord. If the bench were to arrive after they left town, I would hold it in the gallery until they returned. Problem solved!

Now it's this past Friday. I receive a call from, guess who...very good, you're right on the money! Vas. Vas is very agitated. He is angry that the bench hasn't arrived. He accused me of being dishonest. He stated that he went to this designer and to that gallery and to Miss So and So and told everyone the situation and they all agreed that it was very odd and unheard of. He reiterated several times about how this was their first experience with us and that it has been so awful! He was completely fed up and wanted his money back. I told him I would speak to Benjamin and call him back shortly. After debriefing Ben, he wanted nothing to do with it. No refunds, no exchanges, that's our policy...he told me to forget about it and not call the client back. I, am a man of my word. I told this to Ben, and that because I had already told Vas that I would call him, I had to.

And so I call Vas. My first words were, "I understand what it's like to not have something when you want it or when it takes longer than you hope. It sucks! I also sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding or miscommunication. When your wife was here, I repeated the information Benjamin told me word for word to her. To my absolute, best recollection, Benjamin said a few weeks, and I repeated a few weeks." Vas replied, "Fine, 2 weeks, even still, it's been longer than 2 weeks." "No, I'm sorry, I said a few weeks, not 2 weeks." Vas exclaimed that his wife told him that I said 7-10 days and that he would of course believe his wife. "Of course, I get that.", I say. I explained to him that unfortunately, I could not reimburse them because of our policy, which is clearly printed, in a large and easy to read font on the invoice. As I remained calm, polite and respectful, his agitation and language grew worse. He then said to me, and I quote,"I'm going to have my cousin Vlad come to see you while I'm gone. He doesn't speak English very well, but he'll get the point across!"

Close your mouth. Yeah, that was my reaction too. I couldn't believe this guy just said what he said! "I'm sorry, did you just threaten me?" And he said no, then continued, "Like I said, he doesn't really speak English, but he'll be there when I'm not here and he'll make my point. I don't have the patience for this shit!" CLICK!

And there you have it. Quite a day! I'm glad to see that people still have passion! Weeeeeee...

A good support staff is like a rusty crutch; kick it out from under ya, and next thing ya know, you're on your face tastin' dirt!

2007-09-14T00:34:00.001-07:00

What the h, e, double hockey sticks am I talking about? Well, as you can plainly see, it's been an eon since my last entry. After the chiding and cajoling of those nearest and dearest to me, here I sit writing, as I should, even though no one has made any comments about entries thus far...

Muy mucho has happened over these past months. I'm still packin' the 15 pounds I put on during my depressed winter-state blues quartet trio, I quit my crappy job schlepping furniture
around, I de-installed my first solo photography show, , was late on the rent by a week and a half, have just about given up on the whole Philippines/film thing, and landed a gig as the manager of a gallery that showcases mid century contemporary art and design furniture.

The latter is, of course, the good of the bad and the ugly. I walked into the place while picking up for a client and met Benny. We instantly hit it off and he mentioned that he needed a manager for the joint. So I said "hello!" and the rest is history. The money is very good, especially as I sell more and more. Our inventory is excellent! I can truly get behind it because I love contemporary art and design. Heck, my life is art. I've come to realize that this is plain, simple, and my natural selection in this universe. I cannot function without it. I must create and be in a creative environment! Throughout the course of my studies and work experience, I have grown an affinity for innovative and groundbreaking art and design. That does not seem more apparent to me than in the spirit of the work that has materialized from the early to mid century and so it's a great place to be and to learn. And I've learned alot so far. The gallery is called Modern One. It's on Beverly Bvd, one block west of Fairfax. Please check it out.

So I'm listening to George Rochberg's Caprice Variations 12, Andante Con Moto, and through my new Klipsh Promedia Gmx speakers, I can hear him(violinist) breathing through his nose as he's working the bow across his violin, searching out the notes with his fingers. I can almost hear his head buffeting to and fro with each strum, and see his hair being pulled and tugged at each nod. Outstanding! but that's...for another entry. Good nite, and good luck.

For our fathers...the men we love.

2007-06-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe

I recently returned to LA from NJ. I went back to the East coast to see Papa, my maternal grandfather. Having grown up without knowing my biological father, Papa was that man for me. He, in his 50's, had become a raging alcoholic. So much in fact that it forced my mother to leave the house, get married and pregnant, as a teenager. I never knew that until I was much older.

Papa always spoke wisdom to me. He was so gentle and compassionate. He held my hand. He taught me about nature and bugs and finding things. He took me to the store and bought me candy and little gliders made of balsa wood at Barney's. He handed down his pocket watch to me, and the watch of his father. He spoke to me of his times in the war, and his times in the garden, and with his family. My family. He never once raised a hand against me or anyone else. Sure he got angry from time to time, but it would manifest itself in him calling me everyone else's name in the family: Frank, Robert, Carol, Linda, whatever your name is!... His frustration always diffused to a chuckle and a smile. I received a lot of nurturing from Nana and Papa, of which I am immeasurably molded by and grateful of.

My last trip to Jersey was 2 1/2 years ago, New Years Eve. I received a phone call that Papa was in the hospital with pneumonia. I was on the next flight out. I stayed there for over 2 months, at his bedside every nite, in the hospital, then in the rehab clinic, and then at home. The pneumonia was bad, but it was the DT's from alcohol withdrawal that nearly killed him. It was an odd feeling having my entire family (my mum is 1 of 7), leaning on me and drawing strength from me. There was a moment, when I had to steal away in secret, and I broke down. I then collected myself and went back to his bedside. He made a full recovery, including the alcohol.

Believing that I was about to leave for Asia for 3 years, I flew back a couple of weeks ago to see him. It was an intensely emotional visit. There is nothing quite like the sensation that you may never see someone that you love and care about so utterly deeply, alive again. Needless to say, I was a complete wreck. In addition to this, Papa has Alzheimer's, and it is serious and exacerbating by the day. Talking to him is like talking to a child, and his attention span is about 2 seconds long. I cannot describe my feeling of anguish, watching this happen to a man I have always known and seen as heroic and commanding.

I spent every day with him. I took him to the VFW and we played pool. It was something he loved doing more than all else. I couldn't help staring at him, bathing myself in every moment I had with him. I was enamored with what I saw before me, the glorious man that my boyhood remembered. I am eternally grateful, and I find comfort in the thought that I am the man I am because of him.

While I was there, I got to see my cousin Charlie, Papa's nephew. It's been 20 years. Charlie served in Vietnam and has lived with serious shell shock ever since. It sent him into destructive drug and alcohol abuse, and separated him from himself. Over the last couple of years he has been involved with an organization that builds schools in Vietnam. It is a means of healing and giving back to the land and people. Charlie befriended a couple of guys, Chuck and Gary, who were also in country, and they quickly bonded. Chuck and Gary recently lost their best friend, Buddha. Buddha's wishes were to have some of his ashes spread on the Vietnam Memorial Wall in D.C.

Charlie flew into Oregon from Vietnam last month to meet Chuck and Gary. Charlie bought Buddha's Harley, and the trio rode cross country in the Run for the Wall. It happens every year. The Run starts in Ontario, Ca, and hundreds of veteran bikers ride to The Wall where they have an honor ceremony. On his way home to New Hampshire, Charlie and the boys stopped off in Jersey... Serendipity at it's finest. He has healed by leaps and bounds. It was an immense blessing to see him and share with all of them.

I called Papa today to wish him a Happy Father's Day, and found out that Dave, my Aunt Mary Catherine's husband, woke up at 1am to pee, passed out and put his head through the shower door. He received a concussion, a broken shoulder, and severe lacerations to his head. It's amazing that the glass completely missed his neck. While at the hospital, he underwent routine scans for cerebral damage. Again, serendipity stepped in when the Docs discovered that he has an aneurysm in his brain. It could have and might burst at any moment, either killing him or making him permanently comatose. He's now awaiting surgery to remove it. My prayers are with them and my 3 cousins.

So today is a serious day to remember. Remember those who are fathers or father figures to us. Be humble and gracious to the magnificent gifts they have endowed upon us and that will live in us to be passed to our children and protégé. And for goodness sake, reach out to those who are still living in our lives and tell them so! Don't make excuses, don't let time escape you any longer than it has. Please!

Elevating from the gluteus
Howdy. Well, although I failed to venture out last nite, I did manage to wash off the few layers of crustaceans and walk over to the theatre today. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am very anti-Hollywood, as nothing truly good has come out of it since about the 60's. On occasion, however, I do go for a good mind numbing experience and today was one of those days.

So I went to see Fantastic 4. The reviews on NPR weren't great, and of course I expected as much. All in all, it's not a bad film. The main reason to see a mainstream flick is the FX. These were pretty cool. I was a big fan of the Silver Surfer as a kid and so it was kinda neat to see him realized on the screen. Laurence Fishburne was a good choice for the voice of Sliv, but a better job could have been done with more believable inflection. The acting wasn't great, but not awful this time around, although Reed Richards seemed a bit too cool and unaffected when the poo went down. Julian McMahon returns as Dr. Doom, but again, he's still a meek and feeble choice for the ominous and vile character we all new in the comic. Aside from Johnny's mostly flat lines, the writing was ok. There were a handful of funny bits that sparked a hearty laugh. I would say it is worth seeing on the big screen, but not at full price. See it at a matinee or 2nd run theatre.

So now I'm back home. Let's see if I can keep the juices flowing and work on some important things...ttfn

You can't fall off a mountain...

2007-06-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

Said 'Ray Smith' to Japhy Ryder... I, however, am not so sure. I say this as I sit here writing, once again in the valley looking up to the peaks above. Not too long ago I was in a hole, several feet below the valley floor, my only vision...of darkness. Then, as quickly as the spiral downward had begun, I found myself scaling the cliff sides in leaps and bounds.

In February I landed a serendipitous gig as an assistant casting director for an indie film production company. It was a blessing from the universe. It allowed me to re-realize my passion for the industry, my entire reason for moving to California 8 years ago. After the gig, the CEO interviewed with me and I had a conference with the chairman and COO. Apparently they were impressed with my work and asked me to come aboard with a 3 year contract to work in Southeast Aisa.

What can I say, I was shocked, overcome, joyed beyond belief. Too good to be true? Well, had everything transpired smoothly, I would have been working in Asia right this very second. I suddenly found myself in the middle of an unexpected salary negotiation and have since been feeling less and less interest and urgency from the company. And here I sit, in my little apartment, in front of my beautiful mac, with greasy hair, scruff, b.o. and a desire to eat everything in sight despite not being hungry, failing at trying to not listen to my natural inner monologue...

I've always loved writing. Any creative outlet, really. I also love using three little dots to express a pause in thought... I am horrible at keeping regiment about scribing in my journal, and thought, "Hey, everyone else is doing it, come onnnn. Don't you wanna be cool, too?!" My knees, buckling under the inter-webbal peer pressure, could no longer withstand the weight. And so...

I will do my best to keep up with this. If for no other reason, to vent and absorb, and perhaps learn from my ramblings. I often talk to myself as I am usually my own company and we have to talk to someone, don't we? Yes, I am weird. Anywho... Let's see if I can muster up the wherewithal to shower and venture out. TTFN (ta ta for now)