A Legend Lost...

I am saddened by Mr. Hopper's passing. His filming styles changed Hollywood and I am honored to have met him. Filmmaker, artist, brilliant mind. You are a talent and will be missed. Keep your motor runnin', Dennis...

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished... er wait, What?

So I'm tooling down 190th on my way home. As I pass by How's, I see a car stranded in the middle of the street with its flashers on and no lights. I pull up next to the cockpit and ask the girl if she wants help, she agrees.

In a change of tense, I pulled my bike into the parking lot and ran back out into the street. By this time a small line of cars had formed behind the jalopy, all wanting to turn into the lot. I quickly pushed her car across one lane, to safety along the curb of the lot entry. As the car came to rest, I walked up next to her window, leaned down and asked if all was alright. She conferred and thanked me for helping. I took one small step backward, turned around and had my knee, shin and both feet greeted by a Lexus sedan's door panels and it's 2 right sided tires. Yes, that's right folks, I was run over. I couldn't believe it either. In fact, I leaned over with my hands on both knees to check myself with the exact same question, "Did that really just happen?!"

The car stopped. I mean, who wouldn't stop when your car is in a parking lot and you run over something...or someone, right? In a loud voice, but not yelling, I asked, "Seriously? I'm helping this girl out and you ran me over?!" The driver powered down the passenger window and began giving me grief because I took a step backwards. Yes, ladies and germs, the driver blamed me. Apparently if a soul is helping another, and there is an unsafe situation in a lane of traffic, the impatient driver has the right to illegally cross a double yellow line, run over a pedestrian and belay fault of any kind. Wow. And without another word, the Lexus drove off down the lot. The girl asked if I was ok. I was, just slightly disheveled.

I mounted my bike, headed down to the end of the lot and stopped behind the Lexus. An entire family of 5 exited the vehicle. I began talking to the driver, asking him if he realized what it means to run someone over. He continued to tell me he went around me and I backed up, and he was talking over me - a real no no for those of you who know me. I raised a finger and loudly proclaimed, "If both people are talking at the same time, no one is heard." He shut up. I told him that it doesn't matter that he thinks he is right. I stopped to help someone in a dangerous situation. He needs to heed the situation, stop and wait until it is safe. He was impatient, he crossed a double yellow line and broke the law, then ran me over. Again I exclaimed, "You ran me over!" I told him he is lucky nothing seems to be broken and that he needs to slow down, be patient, and obey the law, period. He said thank you and walked away. Yes l's and g's, that's right, he never even apologized or asked if I was alright. Weeee.

I took a snapshot of his license plate and swung by the girl's car. Her friends had shown up to keep her company in wait for a tow. I asked if she would mind providing her name and phone. She kindly and swiftly offered it and she and her friends eagerly volunteered to testify in court if need be. As any of my poor subscribers who torture themselves with my scrawl already know, I am not litigious. In the event that in a few days I am burdened with unignorable pain and get checked only to find something is broken, I want to have a safety net.

Anywho, that's it. Is there a lesson to be learned here? Umm... always, no wait, never... stick a piano up your nose!

Good night, and good luck.

Ode to Diazepam

The rush of tranquility, the hints of euphoria.

How I welcome the smiles that tiptoe along the corner of my lips, oh so subtly.

Limbs bearing invisible weight, slowing down every action, resolve impenetrable. Ahhhh

Del Amo Motorsports

For all you riders out there who have your bikes serviced at Del Amo Motorsports in Redondo Beach, read carefully and pay heed.

My bike was badly in need of tires. Del Amo simply has the best tire prices, period. They even match or beat internet prices, so they have become the go to place. They offer a discount on mounting when you purchase tires through them. It's 45$, ride in, ride out. Now, I've always mounted my own tires with my friends but I thought this was a really great deal. The Saturday before last, I rode up to the service bay. I spoke with John, a really nice fellow, and he informed me that he will likely get it finished, however, it may not be until close to 6pm. It was now 2. I told him that I would appreciate anything he could do and walked into the store.

I kicked around for almost 3.5 hours. They called my name over the PA and I walked back to the service bay, where my baby awaited me with new, beauteous Dunlop rubber. I rode home, showered, and headed out to meet my friends for a birthday gathering.

It was now dark and I was traveling up the 405 towards Culver City. I signaled and moved from the carpool lane, across each lane to my exit. This particular exit has a very sharp, 90˚+ turn that culminates at a traffic light. Before I entered the curve, I broke to slow myself from highway speed; approximately 70mph. As I squeezed the front brake lever, it collapsed to the handlebar, void of any resistance and, oh by the way, any braking! I feverishly squeezed the lever over and again to no avail. I immediately began stomping the rear brake pedal, again, nothing! Before my mouth could utter the 4 letter word my brain had conjured the nanosecond previous, my left hand engaged the clutch and I downshifted the bike into 5th, 4th, 3rd. She lurched forward as I hit the curve, I threw her down into the turn and as I exited, slammed her down into 2nd then 1st gear. I managed to stop the bike with sliding feet before blowing the red light into oncoming traffic. PHEW!

While I awaited the green light, I could not, for the life of me, figure out why or how the brakes would suddenly lose pressure! When I initially got on the bike at the dealer, I noticed that they had not fully pressurized the brakes. I thought, "lazy follow through on their part," but simply pumped the lever until all was solid and it rode fine. Now that I had brake pressure, I decided to proceed cautiously and see what happened. As I progressed down Washington Bvd, I suddenly heard a KLANK, KLANK, KLANK-ing. What the hell was that? It stopped. I continued and then heard the noise again. I immediately pulled over onto the sidewalk. As I de-saddled from my horse in shining scarlet, I suddenly noticed that the entire front, left brake caliper was hanging by the hose. I was furious! I was stupefied, astounded and completely in disbelief! That a mechanic could be so thoughtless, so irresponsible, so utterly incompetent to not have replaced or tightened the bolts on a brake caliper, is completely unacceptable! Needless to say, I called up Del Amo then and there and left my piece of mind on their voice mail, and demanded they call me in the morning.

Did they call? Of course not. I had to have the bike towed home and then to the dealer in the morning. If the caliper had somehow managed to wedge in the wheel while on the freeway, or if I had not maintained and gotten myself out of the exit, or there were a car in front of me or blew through the light...man! I am thankful that I am alive, that I had the skills I needed despite not being conscious of them, and that I am sharing this with you now. Yes, I am thankful...and they, are lucky! I know that I have grounds for a gross negligence case, however, I am not a litigious person. I have met with the service director, the tech foreman and the mechanic. While I do not wish ill of anyone, this is without doubt, a terminating offense. The mechanic, still works there. For anyone who has their bike serviced at Del Amo, request Mauro or Pablo to work on your bike, no one else! I, will never bring a bike there again.

I presented a list of demands, NONE of them involve service of the bike! They are repairing and painting both wheels to match, gave me a new battery, are reimbursing me for the labor and towing, and providing a loner for the duration of the downtime. We'll see where it goes from there. I do not wish or intend to abuse the situation, but considering they put my life in jeopardy, what would you do?

Bah Humbug!

Why do I hate Christmas? Is it the rampant commercialism? Yes. Is it the boorishness and disregard for human beings that exponentially increases this time of year? Yes. Is it the ridiculous traffic that turns even the simplest of tasks into a taxing hair puller? Yes. Is it about people's pilfering of the planet by killing hundreds of thousands of life-giving trees for the sake of decoration and then irresponsibly discarding them without care? YES!

So last Tuesday, I left work around 7:30PM. I'm traveling south on La Cienega Bvd, which is 3 lanes in either direction and just crossed over Rodeo Drive in Culver City. I attain 60mph and am in the left lane with a van in front of me, a taxi to my right, another car in the right lane and a guardrail to my left. As we begin entering the curve, the van, without braking or swerving, runs over an obstacle in the road - of which I cannot see as the van is blocking its view. The van flung out the obstacle, which turned out to be a 7 foot tall f*#@ing Christmas tree that some gentle soul was so kind enough to discard/drop in the middle of the street, at night. This tree spun out from under the van, directly into my bike. With a guardrail to my left and car to my right, I had nowhere to go.

During what must have been nanoseconds, I, completely unknown to myself, surveyed the dismal situation, braced the tank with my legs, rose from the seat and pulled back. I have to say, hitting that tree at 60mph felt like I hit a wall! The front tire blew out instantly. I came to rest on the overpass leading to Kenneth Hahn park, under the street lamp. Clarity hadn't set in for a few more moments. I put the bike on the center stand and walked around her. The body all seemed alright. I couldn't tell if the suspension was damaged, but the front wheel was destroyed. I immediately called the local PD to remove the tree. Unfortunately it took them over 30 minutes to respond. Once I realized what had happened, i.e., what I had accomplished, I was rather surprised. Amazingly, I was able to keep the bike upright, cross 3 lanes of traffic, avoid being hit by cars 2 & 3 and pull the bike to safety. I am a decent rider, but this showed me that my skill level is beyond what I realized, and thankfully so.

While I am grateful I wasn't hurt, my disappointment with people and the situation had the better of me for quite a while. I now had no working transportation. I limped the bike back down to Rodeo and attempted filling it with air. It wouldn't hold anything over 25Lbs and only for a few moments. (As a reference, tires are rated for about 42Lbs). I then limped it to the next station whereupon I filled up the tire again, and so on and so forth until I got her back to the gallery.

I managed to find a wheel on Craigslist, picked it up, and with the help of a great friend, slapped on a new tire, balanced it and brought it back to the gallery to install. While it may be a different color, I'm back on the road within a couple of days. The Universe is a funny place...



While the photo does it a great injustice, this tree was 7 feet tall and about 8 inches in diameter at the trunk.


My baby in pieces at work.

With his pony pal Pokey, too...

Do you remember those old Zenith TV's; the ones where the tube was only 25 inches, but was housed in a GIANT wood console that took up half the room, had the dials you had to turn by hand - which, consequently, turned us children into human remotes - and would kill a man if dropped or attempted to be moved?

The year was 1978. The place was Somerville, NJ - my grandparents' house on North Clark Ave. I was sitting on the floor in the living room, shrouded in what seemed like green astroturf, on which I was always skinning some extremity on a regular basis. Glued to the tube, I experienced Gumby for the first time. It was instant love. That this being could walk through walls and into books and their stories, was fascinating! To this day, some 30 + years later, I can still remember the song: "Gumby, doo doo doo doo doo doo, Gumby, doo doo doo doo doo doo..." Throughout the years of my childhood, I watched countless reruns of Gumby and Davey and Goliath. I still catch myself throwing references to my friends named Dave, "Hey Daaaaaavey," that get lost in the abyss. The show's severe religious undertones were lost on my 3 year-old noggin, but the animation was the lure.

Art Clokey, the mind and hands behind the iconic master of clay, died yesterday. It is a sad loss of a good-hearted and talented man. He had so much love for what he did, that he refused to allow merchandising of any kind for 7 years after the initial release of Gumby, for fear that the parents might feel exploited. That's a far cry from today's biz.

Anywho, without further ado, a small tribute to Mr. Clokey. Thank you for your contribution, Gumby's definitely a part of many of us!

The right thing?

This weekend I was at the local motorbike haunt with my bud. We were picking up some parts and I was felicitously perusing the fare as a child might meander through a toy store. As I was ogling, I heard children laughing, playing. In the next moment I heard, "suck my dick" over the speaker system and suddenly became aware of the music playing, a song by Kid Rock.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a music lover. I'm also a proponent of free speech and anti-censorship. I'm rather liberal, I am by no means religious, nor do I have children of my own. Perhaps I'm getting curmudgeonly in my older age, but this struck me as entirely inappropriate. If the kids were in their teens, yeah, I suppose you could let it slide as I'm sure they've been exposed to quite a bit more at that age. If the parents had put this music on during a picnic or something, well then that's their choice, but this was a public setting. The children in the store were maybe between 6 and 9 years old and I felt responsible. While I was compelled to say something, in the back of my mind I could hear a little voice saying, "Really?! Are you really going up to bat with this, 'cause you're just gonna swing into nothin' but air and nobody cares."

After coming to fisticuffs with the little voice and laying him out in the corner with a black eye, I hesitantly approached one of the sales staff; someone I've seen there many times before and who knew my face. In as respectful and humble a tone as I could muster, I began explaining the situation to him. He immediately said, "Hold that thought, I want you to speak to someone! Follow me," and with near joy in his voice, introduced me to, whom I believe, was a manager. I told the manager that I was sorry to make a fuss, that I get that it's a bike shop - which has a certain vibe, shall we say, that goes with it - but that there are also families with kids walking around. I asked if I may make a suggestion, to which he urged yes, that they simply consider the music they play before airing it over the speaker system. The manager listened intently, told me that I was completely correct and thanked me for my input. My friend, on the other hand, lightly admonished me and stated that kids these days are conditioned already by such things.

So my question goes out to you, my exiguous and sparse readers. In my extant journey to be a better human being, was this the right thing to do? Or did I overstep my bounds and make a mountain out of a mole hill?

Pee Arr Eye Oh Arr Eye Tee Eye Eee Esssss...

We can successfully hurtle 2 infinitesimally small particles of matter, protons, into each other to create a mind boggling scientific explosion (very cool) and yet we're unable to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and stabilize climate decline...

Hey everybody, we've created a black hole and unveiled all the secrets of the known Universe! Yaaaaaay! Of course, the ice caps are going to melt soon, thousands will die and the planet will change as we know it! Boooooo! It's clear where priorities lie. Very sad.

Django Reinhardt, eat your heart out!

Ah yes, another one of those days...

Why do we celebrate birthdays? As with many holidays, it seems to me commercial, overrated, and far too much effort. At least, that is, when it pertains to me... I don't like to make a big deal of it, with the exception of the markers, say 30, when I took a respite in nature. So on this day of days, I see it as any other. I got up this morning, worked, and headed home. I was lucky to get to see my friends L and S and help them with a couple of tasks around the house. I just love to spend time with them.

Now I'm home, I made myself a gin and tonic, mmmmmm, and relaxing on this most gorgeous of evenings. So cheers to you!